How do you want to show up?

How you think affects how you feel, and how you feel affects how you show up. Are you intentional about how you walk into a room? Do you give yourself the fuel of thoughts and feelings you need to intentionally show up?

Recently, I had the opportunity to ask myself these questions. On back-to-back days, I facilitated an emotional intelligence class to a group of parole officers followed by a self-confidence workshop for a bank. Given the difference in audience, I realized I wanted to be very intentional about how I showed up for each one.

It’s not that I changed who I was, but I carefully prepared my thoughts and feelings to match the needs and challenges of my clients. When it comes to facilitation, I carefully prepare my notes, slides, and speaking points. Why wouldn’t I take the same care to prepare my mindset, too?

Do you have an upcoming meeting, pitch, or other opportunity in which you’d like to “show up” vibrantly? Let’s take a moment to consider how you want to intentionally present yourself using the TFA’s of emotional intelligence:



What do you want to be thinking in preparation for this opportunity? What can you tell yourself that will help fuel your likelihood of reaching your goals?


How do you want to feel as you show up? How do you want to feel at the end? Research shows us that emotions are contagious. What emotions do you want to share with those around you during this opportunity?


What behaviors will help you convey your intentions? How do you want to stand or speak? How do you want to greet others? What actions will encourage you to fully “show up”?

Now that you have some idea of your goals and definitions of how you want to show up for this opportunity, let’s explore some tips around how you’ll put these goals into action.


Tips for Showing Up Intentionally:

  1. Listen to a song that matches the T, F, or A of your intention. One of my go-to songs when I want to feel confident and powerful is “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys. If, however, you want to feel more sensitive or curious, try to find a song that elicits these emotions in you.
  2. Repeat an affirmation. You’ve already identified a few thoughts you want to use in order to fuel your intentions. Try repeating these to yourself before and even during your opportunity. Affirmations typically start with an “I” statement, like “I am sure and compassionate.” However, any empowering sentence that fuels your goal should work for you.
  3. Strike a pose. The way you hold your body changes how you think, feel, and act. Take a few moments in a private place before your big moment to hold yourself in a way that embodies how you want to show up. For example, if you want to feel more confident, researcher Amy Cuddy recommends you stand big and tall, even with your arms outstretched.  Stand like the superhero you are.


You owe it to yourself to show up the way you want.

You have the power and the resources to fuel yourself with the thoughts, feelings, and actions needed to show up as the most vibrant and successful you.

How will you choose to show up?